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DeLorenzo's Dugout "Quotebook"
From time to time, a line of dialogue or a quote in a newspaper/magazine story deserves greater recognition than is currently available in our information hungry age. So, yours truly will attempt to preserve quotes that strike his fancy right here... "...it's become very trendy these days to apply modern civilized standards to historical figures. About the only hip thing to say about Thomas Jefferson these days is that he was a slave-owner, and to therefore cast out all his accomplishments, and his genius...It's akin to someone in the year 2050 pointing to a genius and hero of our time and saying, 'He was just a creep. He drove an internal combustion engine.'...Rather than looking for noble people or heroes, we look for celebrities. And a celebrity can be a running back who murdered his wife, as well as it can be someone who achieves..." -- Writer & artist Frank Miller in the 12/98 issue of The Comics Journal "Life is tough. Three out of three people die, so shut up and deal." -- Ring Lardner "Going to church does not make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car." -- Lawrence J. Peter "The jury in this trial was the greatest -- and I've had so many." -- Don King, after a Federal jury cleared him of fraud charges (7/10/98) "He is an enormously gifted and richly qualified leader...but someone who is exasperatingly stupid in his personal life." -- Mike McCurry, former presidential spokesman, on what he really thinks of his former boss, Bill Clinton "It all depends on what your definition of the word is, is." -- Bill Clinton, 1998 "I have no sympathy whatever with writing lists of One Hundred Best Books. There is no such thing as a hundred books that are best for all men, or for the majority of men, or for one man at all times." -- Theodore Roosevelt "Oh, cut the bleeding heart crap, will ya? We've all got our switches, lights, and knobs to deal with, Striker. I mean, down here there are literally hundreds and thousands of blinking, beeping, and flashing lights, blinking and beeping and flashing - they're *flashing* and they're *beeping*. I can't stand it anymore! They're *blinking* and *beeping* and *flashing*! Why doesn't somebody pull the plug!" -- William Shatner as "Buck" Murdoch in the movie "Airplane 2" "I hate intellectuals. They are from the top down. I'm from the bottom up." -- Frank Lloyd Wright "No two countries that both have a McDonald's have ever fought a war against each other." -- Tom Friedman, New York Times, 1996 (as quoted in Wired Magazine, 1997) "Hannibal was very courageous. He rode elephants through Cartilage." -- Mike Tyson, as quoted in the New Yorker, July 6, 1997 "I needs the monies, and I needs the monies now." -- Autumn Jackson (Bill Cosby's "daughter", as quoted by the Associated Press, July 13, 1997) "The only freedom which deserves the name is that of pursuing our own good and in our own way, so long as we do not deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it." -- John Stuart Mill -- "To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel." -- Fran Lebowitz "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." -- Woody Allen "I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake -- which I also keep handy." -- W.C. Fields "You can imagine my embarrassment when I killed the wrong guy." -- Joe Valachi "The highlight of my baseball career came in Philadelphia's Connie Mack Stadium when I saw a fan fall out of the upper deck. When he got up and walked away the crowd booed." -- Bob Uecker "There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had many of them." -- Casey Stengel "Spare us the laments about Red Sox and Cubs supporters. We are Phillies fans. No one knows losing like us." -- Frank Fitzpatrick, as quoted in Forbes Magazine "I wonder how Michael Jackson started out as a black man and ended up as a white girl. But in a world where carpenters get resurrected, anything is possible." -- Phil Spector in Esquire Magazine, April 2004 "Are we so starved for entertainment that we allow ourselves to be entertained by a trickless magician?" -- Chris Rock on David Blaine (March 2004) "I'm better off not socializing. I make a better impression if I'm not around." -- Christopher Walken "I also want to thank you for having Prince, William Shatner, Mick Jagger and Puff Daddy on the same stage. That is a sign of the apocalypse." -- Robin Williams at the 2005 Golden Globes Awards. "Uh, yeah, I mean, it's tough to say, woulda-shoulda-coulda, ifs and buts like candy and nuts, you know, you never know. This, that and the other thing. Who knows? You know, there's a lot of what-ifs." -- NBA Raptors foward Matt Bonner to the Toronto Sun in 2005, when asked if he held a grudge against former teammate Vince Carter "Every day is a gift. It's just, does it have to be a pair of socks?" -- Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini), The Sopranos "Speaking as an enormously unlikable person, I find it difficult to maintain grudges against all those who want to kill me, don't you?" -- James Spader on "Boston Legal" "Sincerity...Once you learn to fake that, there'll be no stopping you." -- James Spader on "Boston Legal" "You people keep assigning me these boring cases. At my old firm, I got murderers. I had clients who would touch themselves in public restrooms. These are people you could root for, not to mention relate to." -- James Spader on "Boston Legal" "It's being reported that Anna Nicole Smith may be pregnant. In a statement released by her lawyer, she said 'Slur slur crazy laugh nuts drool, wheeeee!'" -- David Spade on "The Showbiz Show with David Spade," Spring 2006 "The Italians have a saying...keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct." -- Alec Baldwin as NBC exec Jack Donaghy on "30 Rock" (Fall 2006) "Here's some advice I wish I would got when I was your age -- live every week like it's Shark Week." -- Tracy Morgan on "30 Rock," Fall 2006
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